There is a great scene in the movie, Tombstone, when the Earp brothers with Doc Holliday are facing the outlaws.

Fingers on triggers, eyes riveted, one of the bad guys twitches, and the next thing you hear is an Earp boy lamenting, Oh, no!

He realizes, at that split second, that Hell is going to break loose, and nothing can stop it.

Conflicts with customers escalate in the same way. Each party ratchets up the hostilities until a point of no return is reached, and everyone and everything around is scorched.

CSRs and every customer-facing associate should receive de-escalation training to avoid catastrophes of this type.

When you play back recordings of such painful encounters, there are almost always opportunities to back down, to smooth things over. Here are several tips you can use right away:

(1) Few customers fly off the handle without tipping you off, first. Listen for an elevation of their voices. If they respond this way, do not match their higher tones. Lower yours, instead. This will say youre not rising to the bait.

(2) Ignore profanity, and whatever you do, dont respond with: You cant swear at me! I dont have to take that!

(3) Counter superiority with empathy. If the customer says, Ive been doing business with your bank for five years, dont say, Ive been working here for ten! Say, And we appreciate your business, and Im going to do everything I can to keep it.

(4) If a customer insists on controlling the call, let her do it. Dont interrupt if she goes on a tear or a talkathon. If you interrupt, youll be trying to control, control, with control, and that gets out of control, fast!

(5) Realize this is about a problem, and not about you. Dont become the problem. So, remain solution oriented. Try saying, Lets see where we can go from here! instead of, You did or didnt do X, and you shouldnt have done that!

(6) Keep thinking, Everything is going to be okay, and put that tone into your voice. It will instill confidence in the customer, and encourage him to relax.

(7) If youre about to lose it, take a deep breath and say, Id like to see what else I can do for you. May I ask you to hold for a quick second? Thanks. This will give you time to calm yourself, and if you sense youre going to damage the conversation, turn the call over to someone else. Knowing when youre not effective is a mark of maturity, not weakness or incompetence.

Implement these seven tips during your showdowns with customers. Youll all be more likely to walk away intact!